Rumor has it that there was a gigantic benefit concert or something going on recently by the name of "Live 8". This benefit concert-thingie (and I can scarcely use the term "benefit" when I refer to it) was quite a bit deal, from what I hear, and there was a lot of buzz going on around it. Plenty of acts in plenty of places with plenty of music for the kids and it was all free. While I am certainly all about the free concerts (God, do I love Comfest here in Columbus) I fail to see the point of Live 8. In fact, it seems that Live 8 was really just dedicated to the idea that the people of the world are completely useless.
Bear with me here. I know that what I said may sound a bit inflammatory and that, somehow, I am against the idea of debt relief for Africa. I can't say that I am against the idea of debt relief, as I could use quite a bit of it myself, but the simple fact is, I don't know what the hell Live 8 is trying to accomplish with their 10 concerts. In fact, it seems to me that the only thing they are trying to accomplish is to let everyone in the world know that there is nothing they can do to help Africa or their debt relief. In fact, the message is that the people of the world are completely worthless and should just sit on their asses and do nothing.
The proclaimed purpose of Live 8 is to get Africa out of debt. However, their method for doing that is to have the G-8 countries just cancel their debt. The strange thing about it is that there was no actual effort to get people to help end their debt.
In Live 8's website, I do not see a single call for people to write to their representative in Congress/Parliament/Knesset/Council of the Ring in order to pressure them to cancel Africa's debt. In that website, I don't see anything that calls for people to help the poor and starving Africans who need the help of the world. In that website, I don't see any call for dough that could actually, I don't know, be put toward the goddamned debt of Africa. Maybe if the 1 million people who came out to see the shows paid $10 a head, that would be $10 million that could be used to alleviate some of the interest in the debt. And if even one-tenth of the 2 billion people who are said to have watched the concerts on television had sent in their own $10, then Africa would have a nice, solid $2 billion to pay to their credit card companies. Perhaps it's just a drop in the bucket (I have to admit that I do not know much about the total debt owed by African countries) but it is SOMETHING. And maybe it isn't going to change the world, but it would at least help a little. And a little is better than nothing.
Instead, all the concerts did was promote the idea of debt relief, while reminding people that they should not actually help Africa. In fact, it promoted the idea the people are simply minor cogs in the wheel who are so completely useless that they should not even try to help anybody. Instead, they should just let their governments take care of it, as they sit blissfully on the sidelines and wait for others to do something. Fortunately, we have celebrities and they can give us a benefit concert that really doesn't benefit anyone, except those who want to feel better about the fact that they don’t give a shit about Africa, but they are helping because they are watching Madonna on TV.
By the way, isn't Madonna dead yet? No, wait, that was just the idea that Madonna is somehow worth paying attention to.
Nice message folks, I really appreciate it. It really is a pleasure to know that you are teaching the younger generation who actually listens to bad pop music a chance to learn that they should not bother to help anyone, since they are useless anyway. While we are at it, we should stop global warming by turning on our air conditioners, end disease by not leaving the house and spreading germs, and bring an end to war by eating Cheez-Its until we are all so damned fat that we can't actually get off the couch, much less pick up a gun a shoot anybody. You know what, Live 8 can just screw off.