- Final thoughts -

A word on blending in:

Jeans are expensive over there, so nobody wears them except visiting Americans. Nobody wears hats either, so the ball caps are dead giveaways also. To blend in with the Euros, just remember "black". Black shirts, black pants, black shoes, black socks, black coats and black scarves. This works for everything except black skin, as that would just get you stared at. Also, start smoking. A lot. Then try not to have an aneurysm when you find out how much a pack of cigarettes costs in London.

Of all the ways to keep track of exchange rates, we found the relative price of beer to be the easiest. Then try not to have an aneurysm when buying the cheapest beer you can find in a London club.

Amsterdam, for all its hash bars, prostitution and Rembrandt paintings, is amazingly relaxed. There is an intoxicating mellowness about the place. If something can get done in one hour, it can also get done in two. (i.e. When having a meal, expect to spend 3 hours at the restaurant: better than an hour and a half of that will be taken up by waiting for the food to arrive and God help you if you forget that you need to actually ask the waiter for the check.) The natives of this town would probably describe surfers as "neurotic". According to recent statistics, only 21% of the people in Amsterdam actually live there. Everyone else is just loitering.

You can always tell the Dutch women from the female tourists. The tourists are carrying cameras and the Dutch women are tall, leggy, blonde supermodels.

Do not rent a car to get anywhere. Rob and Troy spent significantly more than their rental fees on gasoline during their trip up to and around Scotland.

Prague is apparently some sort of giant black hole that sucks everybody in and keeps them there indefinitely. Either you get sucked in by the inexpensiveness, the overwhelmingly medieval feel, the preponderance of art and culture or the fact you still cannot find the goddamn train station, expect to spend longer than you planned in Prague. Another possible reason is absinthe, a drink we heard much about. According to cityguide.cz (no, I did not make the following up): "Absinthe - Historically, the leaves and flowers of the wormwood plant were used to make absinthe. Wormwood contains thujone, which is nerve toxin, and that is what gives this drink its kick. The slightly greenish coloration of absinthe is from the chlorophyll in the wormwood plant. Although Prague is famed for being one of the cities where absinthe is still served in bars, the thujone content of Czech absinthe is essentially nil." Regardless of quantity, one must respect the fact the drink is known for its nerve toxin.

Roadtrips are something that is simply beyond the scope of European thinking. I mentioned to the guys in Munich that on two separate occasions we drove 17 hours straight to get to New Orleans. They were agog at this as they explained they could drive from there to Moscow in the same amount of time.

In the time I spent in Munich (about 16 hours), it snowed, thawed, drizzled, cleared up, snowed again and thawed by the time I left. Germans are known for being frequent travelers. Should you wonder why this is so, reread the above, remember it was late March and this was the nicest weather one could expect from the country because it was in the far south of Germany. Now imagine how long it would take for you to get the hell out of there for a vacation.

Never let Rob walk in front of a group, as he does not pay attention to where he is going and will lead you across the city before he realizes he was leading. Never let Troy give you something to hold onto for him, he will not clearly explain why you are holding it, nor will he let you know when he can begin carrying it again. Never ask me a question, I deliberately remains too confused to formulate an opinion, even if it had occurred to me that I am supposed to have one.

Hostels, as Troy observed, are always like the "Gettin’ to know everybody" first night in the dorms.

Let’s Go books: always helpful, great travel advice but boy, do the maps suck.

McDonald’s is good for two things, free bathrooms and great maps, use both.

TGIFriday’s is a surprisingly large part of the American commerce machine that will take over the world. They were everywhere. I think it had a lot to do with the fact they didn’t need topical memorabilia all over the place as part of their shtick. They could hit a flea market or a city dump to get whatever they felt like affixing to walls. Plus, it is okay to have more than one TGIFriday’s in a city. Imagine Hard Rock Cafe franchising eight restaurants in the Paris area. It would certainly take some of the steam out of owning the commemorative T-shirt.

It was very hard to get used to the idea that you do not tip your waitstaff. It was nice, we just added our totals and threw in our money, then added up Rob’s total and told him what he owed. Apparently, the American companies (such as TGIFriday’s and Planet Hollywood) are doing their usual trick of underpaying their staff and mentioning on the menu that you should tip them. Such are the cultural differences. This brings to mind something else I should do in my life, that being faking a German accent. Then I would be free to stiff the waitstaff on tips and everybody would chalk it up to "Germans are lousy tippers."

The Euros have no concept of coffee. When you want coffee, they give you something like an espresso. A small little cup of strong coffee is no way to start the day. When I sit down for breakfast, I want to have a couple cups of coffee. I want my waitress to refill my coffee at some point. I want to be able to eat my food and chat with my eating companions over six cups of joe and start my day at the only pace I can reasonably deal with it: very, very slowly.

The French enjoy dressing 18 year olds up in army fatigues, giving them submachine guns and walking them around airports. They also put up signs informing you that if you leave your baggage unattended, the bomb squad will blow it up. Subtlety is apparently something the French can’t be bothered with.

Money comes and goes but the good memories of one great adventure will last a lifetime.