Chapter 16

The next month and a half flew by before I had realized it had passed. With Andrew gone, I was beginning to see Lori much more regularly, which was a problem. As Andrew had once said, she was the sort of woman who only got more attractive as you spent time with her. I was going nuts.

"What’s a suicide squeeze?" she asked me out of the blue. It was a warm Sunday afternoon and we were at a Yankees game. It was a fairly warm, mid-September day and sitting in the sun sent the temperature up to positively sweltering. I distinctly remember this because of the very light clothing she wore to counter the heat.

"You know, I really have no idea," I answered as I did everything possible keep my eyes looking back at hers.

"Does anybody know?" she asked me in return.

"I would think so, since people like to use the term."

"Maybe this guy next to me knows," she told me. Then she turned in her seat saying, "Excuse me."

"Hm?" he responded after a surprised realization that Lori was addressing him.

"Do you know what a suicide squeeze is?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, um, that’s when there are runners on first and second or first, second and third with less than two outs and the batter pops a ball up into the infield. The batter is automatically out because otherwise the infielder can drop the ball and get an easy double or triple play."

"Oh, thank you," Lori told him. Then she leaned over to me and whispered, "Isn’t that the infield fly rule?"

I nodded as I told her, "That’s exactly what it is."

She whispered in my ear again, "Well let’s let it go, he seemed so happy to help."

As I looked over and saw him staring intently at her rear end, I figured he was actually happy for the fact he had the chance to talk to her and show off his baseball knowledge. All he really did was prove himself incapable of listening to a question, but he was, undoubtedly, quite proud of himself.

"Anyway," she continued in a normal speaking voice, "I’ve heard that phrase quite a bit, but nobody ever really explains what it means. It seems like it’s information that nobody wants to pass out because the only people who know what it is are baseball fans and you are not a ‘real’ baseball fan unless you know what a suicide squeeze is."

"All I know is that baseball fans get all jazzed up about them."

"I have to imagine that has something to do with their being so rare."

"You may be onto something there."

"You know, supposing there was an explosion of suicide squeezes throughout baseball, not only would people actually find out what they were, but baseball fans would immediately begin complaining about how they are ruining the game."

"What gave you that idea?" I asked her, not really following where her mind was going.

"It’s like homeruns," she explained, "No matter what the general trend is in baseball, the only thing baseball fans can agree on is that that trend is ruining the game. Designated hitters, changing the size of strike zones, enforcing bans, whatever. I seem to remember that not too long ago people were complaining about there being so many pitchers’ duels. ‘One-to-nothing games are no way to get people interested in baseball,’ people were saying. Now everybody is saying that all these homers are killing the game. I can’t quite figure out if it is because there are too many people in the ballparks or the fact a bunch of old records are being broken, giving less credence to their argument that the old players were much better than today’s players." She paused. "You know," she continued in a contemplative voice, "I don’t think that ‘real’ baseball fans are really that interested in the actual games, I think they just enjoy complaining."

"You don’t seem to like baseball fans," I told her.

"I find them a little strange. Have you ever heard them talk about the designated hitter rule? They talk about it like someone defaced an altar. They all seem to agree that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are expansion, the homer explosion, more divisions and adding a second round to the playoffs."

She continued, "I was at a party once and some guy was talking about interleague play and I mentioned that I thought it was great. He erupted at me for the next fifteen minutes in an explanation of why I was dead wrong and interleague play was going to destroy the game and how, as a result, America was going to be a weaker country for it, which I have yet to understand. Then right after he was done yelling at me he asked me for my phone number. I just told him, ‘I don’t think so,’ and he looked at me like I’d just insulted him. Bizarre, rather frightening guy, he was. Fun story in retrospect, though, don’t you think?"

All I could do was look at her, nodding and smirking before adding, "I could see how that might turn you off, yes."

"Anyway, are you much of a baseball fan?" she asked me.

I sure as hell was not going to say "Yes." Instead, I told her, "I guess you could say I’m more of a fan of teams. I don’t really get excited about, let’s say, a Tigers-Indians game because I don’t root for either of them. And opening day is not that big a thrill for me. I mean, there are one hundred sixty-one more games, so the first one isn’t really going to affect much in the long run scheme of things. But I like to scan the standings in the paper, I like listening to games on the radio while I’m doing something else, I like going to ballparks. Watching baseball on television however, no thanks."

"I couldn’t agree more. They’re nice to fall asleep to, though," Lori threw in.

"Oh, absolutely. Falling asleep and waking up to baseball are two of the best ways to hear a baseball game."

"I can’t say as I’ve woken up to that many games, so I can’t really say anything about that. I know Andy and I would turn on baseball in our room quite a bit during the summer. I never knew how the game ended, but a low scoring game was better than a sleeping pill."

"Speaking of Andrew, how’s he doing? Have you heard anything from him?"

"Actually, yes. His tour is going really well: it’s been extended four weeks. Good old Hans has hooked them up with dates in a couple more cities and they’ve been asked to make a few return engagements."

"That’s great," I said, "I’m glad to hear things are working out well for him."

"Yeah, I’m happy for him too. I miss him though. It’s just not the same without him here."

"It’s a little hard to get used to," I agreed in all honesty, "It’s strange, but I’m used to him being around."

"Well, I’ve lived with him for a long time, so it’s not easy to have him absent. Especially weeknights. He would always play the cello for me then. He’s an excellent musician, you know. He’d pick out something for me, or sometimes I would ask him to play something and he would always play it as well as anybody could. I miss that."

"Well, I suppose you’re going to have to get used to that, what with you getting married."

"Oh, I can still visit him a lot and listen to him. He’ll still be in the same city and he’ll only be a subway ride away. Maybe I could even walk to his place, you never know. I’ll still stop by to hear him play after work or see him play at his functions. Things will be different when I don’t live with him, but I’d miss him too much not to hear him play his cello."

"How will Ray feel about that?"

"Oh, Ray will be fine. He doesn’t seem to mind the fact we live together, so I can’t imagine he’ll mind that I’ll still see Andy quite a bit. I don’t feel like waiting the extra four weeks to see him right now, but I think it will just make it that much more exciting when he does get back."

"You certainly do have a positive outlook on things."

She shrugged a happy little shrug. "I just think that you can find something good in anything that happens."

It was hard not to find the merits in this line of thinking, though I admitted, "I guess I’ve never been that much of an optimist."

"Life’s too short to be upset about things. Things can be good, things can be bad, and sometimes you can’t tell which way they’re going to be."

"You just take life as it comes?"

"That’s probably the best way of putting it," she said with a smile.

I seem to think the Yankees won that day, but the game was not what was on my mind.